The Good, The Bad & The Labels

I came home from work Thursday and my wife was in our bathroom getting ready for work, she works nights. I sit on the edge of the bed while our son is occupying himself with his toy cars, and my wife Jenni asks a simple question…how was your day?

I immediately thought back on the various things that occurred that day. My employee who had broken his wrist the weekend before came in after getting his cast on and said he wasn’t sure if he could work with the restrictions from the doctor and a useless had (his job requires lifting heavy odd sized objects). I had my normal Thursday morning meeting as well that day and it was nothing special. I was stressed because I now had 3 printers to run, instead of just worrying about my 2, I had the big flatbed that my guy normally runs. That kept me busy and it was a tad stressful keeping it all running smoothly. On top of that my office had started a Biggest Loser competition and I was 4 days into a new diet and learning how to read/watch my calories, etc. I then had to leave early to get home so she could get to work, which usually isn’t a problem because my guy is still there getting jobs printed and everyone is being taken care of so I can step out. However, he was gone so my department was shutdown 1.5 hours earlier than usual, which tends to make the designers panic because they always worry a customer will call with a last minute rush and they’ll have to say no because no one is there to print it.

Okay, so all that goes through my head and at the end of the thought I reply to her with this: “oh man, I had a really bad day”.

I look back on it now and remember the rest of the night. Jenni was at work, I was taking care of our son and was thinking to myself that I deserved to rest because “I had a bad day”. I did absolutely nothing productive that night. I wasn’t as attentive to my son as I should have been. I didn’t get any laundry washed, I didn’t start a load of dishes. I was a bum.

I realize looking back that it all started with me deciding that I had to label my day as a bad one. With that label securely in place I allowed myself to use it as an excuse to not accomplish anything positive that night…which carried over to the next day. Why do I have to do that? Why do I have to choose to label something as good or bad. Maybe my day was neither good nor bad really, it just was what it was…a day. Nothing more, nothing less. Now please don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying anything negative towards my wife asking the question. She was genuinely interested in the experiences of my day. I just realized for myself that I am constantly labeling people, events, even days of my life with Good or Bad. One little word or label puts an entire spin on my perspective. This isn’t to say having a positive outlook is a negative thing, but I just wonder why it is that I feel the need to label everything?

• My day was bad
• My meeting was boring
• My coworker is cocky
• I’m fat
• Life is pointless
• Brussel sprouts are nasty

Maybe I’m going overboard here, but honestly, look at the list. I have created a mental/verbal label for each item, which immediately changes my outlook because I focus on the label and don’t see what’s really there. My day was bad. I had some unpleasant moments of stress, but that okay. There were also moments where I smiled and enjoyed my time working. My coworker is an incredibly talented artist and designer, but I have labeled him as cocky, so that’s all I see. I’m blinded by the label and am unable or unwilling to see the beauty within him. I’m fat…yes, I’m not at a healthy weight, but do I have to apply such a negative label to myself? Is that really helping anything or anyone? Is life really pointless? No it’s not, but I’ve decided at that moment that this is the only view I wish to have, instead of choosing to see all the wonderful things within it. Are brussel sprouts nasty? Well, I don’t particularly enjoy them, but my wife loves them, so are they really nasty? No, I just don’t enjoy eating them. Do you see what I’m saying?

I’ve decided that I need to stop labeling everything and just live. Labels are hindering my progression as a father, as a husband, as an employee and as a conscious human being. If something is merely creating a road block in your life, then why do we continue to hold on to it?