Life as an Illusion

Guest post by Justin Self:
http://www.myspace.com/machinefaultred

I have this very new feeling that life is like a dream, or an illusion.

Interestingly, I read at some time that this is a symptom of some depression or disorder. I think there is problem with this though, and that lies in the interpretation of illusion – first, a standard interpretation, then the Buddhist interpretation, which is often misunderstood (Western thought process):

Standard interpretation of “illusion”: you see water in the distance of the desert, but it is just a heat mirage – the water does not exist, though you may believe it to

Buddhism/Hinduism interpretation of “illusion”, as far as I understand it to be: our bodies and all that which surrounds us – whether physical matter, mental idea or thought, and emotions of love or suffering – are impermanent. They do not last forever. Things fade, things die. Things are temporary.

The fault with us as human beings is that, many of us grasp onto these things in our life, that we believe will always be there. You could say it is taking something for granted. The feeling of love with another is true, the house you own is true, the mental processes in your brain are true (on a physiological level, at least). So to say that such things are illusions inherently – yes, it’s hard to believe, and not easy to grasp.

However, what is illusionary of the above examples is this: that they last forever, or are perpetual. Within that concept, they are illusions. When we die, we will not have such things. Even though they may remain on this earth, they are no longer ours, whatever the possession may be. Again, it is temporary.

I think a big mistake which seems to be again, a very Western mistake, is assuming that “forever”, means one’s lifetime. “I will love you forever, I will always have this or that, I will never forget you”. So, within the scope of one’s lifetime – could you say any of the above examples in truth? Perhaps, but we know that sometimes things change, and that affects our feelings, thoughts and attachments. Now, within the scope of beyond your life, beyond your death – could you say any of the above examples in truth? No.

Then, from this perspective… is the thought of life being an illusion, or feeling illusionary – a mark of depression or disorder? I wholeheartedly believe no, if you accept the second interpretation of illusion, which again, is:

our bodies and all that which surrounds us – whether physical matter, mental idea or thought, and emotions of love or suffering – are impermanent. They do not last forever. Things fade, things die.

This can only mean one thing: I’ve come to a true realization and acceptance of mortality. I’ve come, to grasp the bigger picture of life – and able to understand the trivial from the significant. Though, that ability isn’t so new. For many years I realized what life in general, or my life – could suffice without. But I think that lately there is an extension of that ability. It’s grasping the impermanence of life as a whole, and how things fit therein.

For example, at some point we are going to cease living. It is something I never chose to accept, though I knew it to be true. Mentally perhaps emotionally I remained stubborn about it. Naturally, I still wouldn’t wish my life or another’s to end “before their time”. However, grasping the bigger picture and accepting the outcome, it makes you re-evaluate what really matters. I think this has manifested itself in how I interpret and react to things. For instance, I’m a very humble person – I won’t accept money or even food if offered if you are not family, sometimes even friend. Another example would be, caring what others think – whether it’s the music I’m listening to, what I’m writing about, what I have to say in a heated and open moment, or in a completely open expression of true feelings, of love.

Those examples, within the bigger picture that I have now, would be different now. Is it so bad to accept a kind offer once in awhile, am I so undeserving? No. Does it really matter what you think of me based upon the lyrics born of someone else’s heart, accompanied by music I enjoy? No. Does it matter that you might cast assumption at a glance of what I’m writing? No. Does it matter enough for me to become vulnerable and admit my feelings? No.

Why? Because any of those little bothers or moments of discomfort do not last forever. They are inherent to the moment at hand. Just as the bite of an honest few words, or the pain of a lost loved one, is impermanent in itself. It is how you react and carry yourself forward that determines how you feel from that point forward. Whether you want to grab that thorny branch of feelings, and pull it with you all your life – is your choice. But it doesn’t have to last forever, because – it doesn’t.

“On the basis of this misconception which ties together the hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home, property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life’s illusions and thinks in terms of ‘I and mine.”
Bhagavat Purana 5.5.8
http://hinduism.iskcon.com/concepts/105.htm

Treading Water

I feel like I’ve been swimming for a long time with no clear direction or destination.  The direction I was given from time I was born has turned out to be a different direction than I care to go.  I swam so long in that direction that now I’m out of breath and stopped swimming. I’m treading water, waiting for guidance on which way to go, or if I should just give up and let myself sink.

Photo by Zeb Andrews

My whole life I feel like I’ve been treading water, and I suppose I was never truly swimming to begin with.  The LDS church has a nice big boat that they say you can ride on, but only if you choose to believe that it’s the only boat that can really get you there safely.  Sure there are other smaller boats that will try.  Their intentions are good and the boats will float for awhile, but they didn’t have the full and complete plans for building the boat, so it’s only a matter or time before they too will sink.

I’ve decided that I don’t really care for their boat, and I think they made up the plans and have convinced everyone that they came directly from God.  I believed that for a long time as well, but now I know it’s not true, so I said f*ck it and jumped overboard.  Now I am in the water all on my own and I’m getting tired.

My wife says that the bible still has good instructions on how to build a boat, though Jesus already built one and it’s through him and only him that we can be taken safely to the other shore.  I don’t know that I buy that.  Why can’t I build my own boat?  Do I really have to use his?  What makes his boat so special?  Am I incapable of doing it on my own?

Well I don’t have answers to all those questions and I don’t know how I feel about some of them.  To be honest, thinking about some of them just gives me headaches and makes me feel like I’m ready to stop treading and let myself sink.  Am I just stubborn and arrogant to think that I have everything that I need within myself if only I wake up and realize it?  I believe my wife would say yes.  I love her dearly, but I would disagree. I don’t know however that I can truly disagree with her without it really upsetting her, and I don’t want to do that.  I appreciate that she prefers to use the boat Jesus made and that’s fine. I’m truly happy for her. The problem is that I want to build my own boat.  I want to immerse myself in the guidance of ancient teachers who have taught us how to find the plans we already have within ourselves, and not to rely on someone else to do the work.  It’s through this awakening and realization that we find our true nature, and I’m so excited to make that journey, but I don’t think that she is.  She doesn’t understand and I don’t know how to explain it.

I’m not saying that Jesus doesn’t have a great boat, whose plans came from God.  I’m just saying that I don’t know, and I’m okay with not knowing. I know there is more than one boat and I’m ready to make my own.  Others can use his, but I quite frankly don’t want to.

Is that selfish and wrong?  I’m just so sick of treading water.

Daily Dharma 01: Be Present. Live Here and Now

(Guest post by David from DailyDharma.net)

Day 1: Be Present. Live Here and Now.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha

How can we can we be conscious, enjoy living, or accomplish anything, if we are not aware of where we are, who we are, and what we are doing right now?

Photo by Stuck in Customs

Today, practice being present.

Focus your mind on your actions, whether you are brushing your teeth, eating a sandwich, or hard at work, and avoid daydreaming.

If you are driving to work, simply drive. Do not worry about Monday’s meeting, about last night’s fight with a loved one, or about what another driver is doing behind you. If you are breathing, simply breathe. Notice each breath coming in and going out. Feel the air that sustains you entering your lungs. If you are sitting, simply sit. Pull your mind back to right now. Notice your surroundings. Notice your feelings. Notice your suffering. Notice, but do not worry. Just be.

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Daily Dharma: A New Series of Posts

As I searched for Dharma in the sea of Google, I came across a site and instantly fell in love with the content. Although a relatively new blog (much like us), the content is excellent and I look forward to the many posts to come. The authors name is David and his blog can be found at DailyDharma.net

I thought that the posts would be an excellent addition to Blending Zen and so I emailed David and asked if he minded if I republished his articles here on our blog. He was kind enough to give me permission, and so I will be adding the first series of his posts over the next week and will then add them as he adds to his own.

I hope to get to know David better over time, and who knows, maybe he wouldn’t mind doing some guest posts here from time to time on related content that may not fit exactly with the purpose of his site. As he states, his blog is not intended to be a Buddhist blog per se, though it pulls heavily from the philosophies of Buddhism.

Here is what he says on his ABOUT page to give you a little info: