Life as an Illusion

Guest post by Justin Self:
http://www.myspace.com/machinefaultred

I have this very new feeling that life is like a dream, or an illusion.

Interestingly, I read at some time that this is a symptom of some depression or disorder. I think there is problem with this though, and that lies in the interpretation of illusion – first, a standard interpretation, then the Buddhist interpretation, which is often misunderstood (Western thought process):

Standard interpretation of “illusion”: you see water in the distance of the desert, but it is just a heat mirage – the water does not exist, though you may believe it to

Buddhism/Hinduism interpretation of “illusion”, as far as I understand it to be: our bodies and all that which surrounds us – whether physical matter, mental idea or thought, and emotions of love or suffering – are impermanent. They do not last forever. Things fade, things die. Things are temporary.

The fault with us as human beings is that, many of us grasp onto these things in our life, that we believe will always be there. You could say it is taking something for granted. The feeling of love with another is true, the house you own is true, the mental processes in your brain are true (on a physiological level, at least). So to say that such things are illusions inherently – yes, it’s hard to believe, and not easy to grasp.

However, what is illusionary of the above examples is this: that they last forever, or are perpetual. Within that concept, they are illusions. When we die, we will not have such things. Even though they may remain on this earth, they are no longer ours, whatever the possession may be. Again, it is temporary.

I think a big mistake which seems to be again, a very Western mistake, is assuming that “forever”, means one’s lifetime. “I will love you forever, I will always have this or that, I will never forget you”. So, within the scope of one’s lifetime – could you say any of the above examples in truth? Perhaps, but we know that sometimes things change, and that affects our feelings, thoughts and attachments. Now, within the scope of beyond your life, beyond your death – could you say any of the above examples in truth? No.

Then, from this perspective… is the thought of life being an illusion, or feeling illusionary – a mark of depression or disorder? I wholeheartedly believe no, if you accept the second interpretation of illusion, which again, is:

our bodies and all that which surrounds us – whether physical matter, mental idea or thought, and emotions of love or suffering – are impermanent. They do not last forever. Things fade, things die.

This can only mean one thing: I’ve come to a true realization and acceptance of mortality. I’ve come, to grasp the bigger picture of life – and able to understand the trivial from the significant. Though, that ability isn’t so new. For many years I realized what life in general, or my life – could suffice without. But I think that lately there is an extension of that ability. It’s grasping the impermanence of life as a whole, and how things fit therein.

For example, at some point we are going to cease living. It is something I never chose to accept, though I knew it to be true. Mentally perhaps emotionally I remained stubborn about it. Naturally, I still wouldn’t wish my life or another’s to end “before their time”. However, grasping the bigger picture and accepting the outcome, it makes you re-evaluate what really matters. I think this has manifested itself in how I interpret and react to things. For instance, I’m a very humble person – I won’t accept money or even food if offered if you are not family, sometimes even friend. Another example would be, caring what others think – whether it’s the music I’m listening to, what I’m writing about, what I have to say in a heated and open moment, or in a completely open expression of true feelings, of love.

Those examples, within the bigger picture that I have now, would be different now. Is it so bad to accept a kind offer once in awhile, am I so undeserving? No. Does it really matter what you think of me based upon the lyrics born of someone else’s heart, accompanied by music I enjoy? No. Does it matter that you might cast assumption at a glance of what I’m writing? No. Does it matter enough for me to become vulnerable and admit my feelings? No.

Why? Because any of those little bothers or moments of discomfort do not last forever. They are inherent to the moment at hand. Just as the bite of an honest few words, or the pain of a lost loved one, is impermanent in itself. It is how you react and carry yourself forward that determines how you feel from that point forward. Whether you want to grab that thorny branch of feelings, and pull it with you all your life – is your choice. But it doesn’t have to last forever, because – it doesn’t.

“On the basis of this misconception which ties together the hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home, property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life’s illusions and thinks in terms of ‘I and mine.”
Bhagavat Purana 5.5.8
http://hinduism.iskcon.com/concepts/105.htm

Hopelessness and Death

Hopelessness and Death
by Pema Chodron

Turning your mind toward the dharma does not bring security or confirmation. Turning your mind toward the dharma does not bring any ground to stand on. In fact, when your mind turns toward the dharma, you fearlessly acknowledge impermanence and change and begin to get the knack of hopelessness.

In Tibetan there is an interesting word: ye tang che. The ye part means “totally, completely” and the rest of it means “exhausted.”  Altogether, ye tang che means totally tired out.  We might say “totally fed up.”  It describes an experience of complete hopelessness, of completely giving up hope.  This is an important point.  This is the beginning of the beginning.  Without giving up hope that there is somewhere better to be, that there is someone better to be we will never relax with where we are or who we are.

We could say that the word mindfulness is pointing to being one with our experience, not dissociating, being right there when our hand touches the doorknob or the telephone rings or feelings of all kinds arise.  The word mindfulness describes being right where you are.  Ye tang che, however, is not so easily digested.  It expresses the renunciation that is essential for the spiritual path.

To think that we can finally get it all together is unrealistic.  To seek for some lasting security is futile.  To undo our very ancient and very stuck habitual patterns of mind requires that we begin to turn around some of our most basic assumptions.   Believing in a solid, separate self, continuing to seek pleasure and avoid pain, thinking that someone “out there” is to blame for our pain one has to get totally fed up with these ways of thinking.  One has to give up hope that this way of thinking will bring us satisfaction.  Suffering begins to dissolve when we can question the belief or the hope that there is anywhere to hide.

Hopelessness means that we no longer have the spirit for holding our trip together.  We may still want to hold our trip together.  We long to have some reliable, comfortable ground under our feet, but we’ve tried a thousand ways to hide and a thousand ways to tie up all the loose ends, and ground just keeps moving under us.  Trying to get lasting security teaches us a lot, because if we never try to do it, we never notice that it can’t be done.  Turning our minds toward the dharma speeds up the process of discovery.  At every turn we realize once again that it is completely hopeless we can’t get any ground under our feet.

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