What I Learned From a Ladybug

Photo courtesy of jody9

While at work the other day I encountered a couple of ladybugs wandering on top of the sheets of material that had just arrived.   My first instinct was to just flick them off and continue on with what I was doing.  As I got closer and was about to flick one away I stopped myself.  I decided instead that I wanted to just watch them for awhile.  As I watched the thought came to me that maybe they were lost and scared, wandering in an unknown world, and not knowing where to go.  In that moment I understood that all life is precious.  I’ve gone through all the years of my life mindlessly squashing bugs, flicking various insects out of the way, never taking a moment to recognize the miracle of life displayed right in front of me.

What if I lived inside of a world where I was the insect and some being decided that my existence was unimportant and simply squashed me?

I grabbed a piece of paper and placed it next to the ladybugs and one by one carried them outside to a patch of long grass growing along the wall in our back lot.  I placed them close enough to the grass that they were able to easily walk onto them and be on their way.  As the last one crawled onto the blade of grass it turned around and seemed to be looking at me.  I bent down to meet it’s gaze.  As I sat looking into the eyes of this ladybug,  it fluttered it’s wings, continuing to look my way.  I thought that maybe this was it’s way of communicating with me, and maybe it was trying to say “thank you”.  I returned the gesture with a gassho (bow), and went back to work.

It’s amazing what we can learn when we pay attention.

I remember reading the reply from Sean (greenfrog) after taking my vows where he wrote “now notice”.  It always confused me a little.  What did that mean?  Notice what exactly?   I think I’m beginning to understand.

Thank you ladybug for reminding me of the preciousness of all lives…even tiny insects.

Life as an Illusion

Guest post by Justin Self:
http://www.myspace.com/machinefaultred

I have this very new feeling that life is like a dream, or an illusion.

Interestingly, I read at some time that this is a symptom of some depression or disorder. I think there is problem with this though, and that lies in the interpretation of illusion – first, a standard interpretation, then the Buddhist interpretation, which is often misunderstood (Western thought process):

Standard interpretation of “illusion”: you see water in the distance of the desert, but it is just a heat mirage – the water does not exist, though you may believe it to

Buddhism/Hinduism interpretation of “illusion”, as far as I understand it to be: our bodies and all that which surrounds us – whether physical matter, mental idea or thought, and emotions of love or suffering – are impermanent. They do not last forever. Things fade, things die. Things are temporary.

The fault with us as human beings is that, many of us grasp onto these things in our life, that we believe will always be there. You could say it is taking something for granted. The feeling of love with another is true, the house you own is true, the mental processes in your brain are true (on a physiological level, at least). So to say that such things are illusions inherently – yes, it’s hard to believe, and not easy to grasp.

However, what is illusionary of the above examples is this: that they last forever, or are perpetual. Within that concept, they are illusions. When we die, we will not have such things. Even though they may remain on this earth, they are no longer ours, whatever the possession may be. Again, it is temporary.

I think a big mistake which seems to be again, a very Western mistake, is assuming that “forever”, means one’s lifetime. “I will love you forever, I will always have this or that, I will never forget you”. So, within the scope of one’s lifetime – could you say any of the above examples in truth? Perhaps, but we know that sometimes things change, and that affects our feelings, thoughts and attachments. Now, within the scope of beyond your life, beyond your death – could you say any of the above examples in truth? No.

Then, from this perspective… is the thought of life being an illusion, or feeling illusionary – a mark of depression or disorder? I wholeheartedly believe no, if you accept the second interpretation of illusion, which again, is:

our bodies and all that which surrounds us – whether physical matter, mental idea or thought, and emotions of love or suffering – are impermanent. They do not last forever. Things fade, things die.

This can only mean one thing: I’ve come to a true realization and acceptance of mortality. I’ve come, to grasp the bigger picture of life – and able to understand the trivial from the significant. Though, that ability isn’t so new. For many years I realized what life in general, or my life – could suffice without. But I think that lately there is an extension of that ability. It’s grasping the impermanence of life as a whole, and how things fit therein.

For example, at some point we are going to cease living. It is something I never chose to accept, though I knew it to be true. Mentally perhaps emotionally I remained stubborn about it. Naturally, I still wouldn’t wish my life or another’s to end “before their time”. However, grasping the bigger picture and accepting the outcome, it makes you re-evaluate what really matters. I think this has manifested itself in how I interpret and react to things. For instance, I’m a very humble person – I won’t accept money or even food if offered if you are not family, sometimes even friend. Another example would be, caring what others think – whether it’s the music I’m listening to, what I’m writing about, what I have to say in a heated and open moment, or in a completely open expression of true feelings, of love.

Those examples, within the bigger picture that I have now, would be different now. Is it so bad to accept a kind offer once in awhile, am I so undeserving? No. Does it really matter what you think of me based upon the lyrics born of someone else’s heart, accompanied by music I enjoy? No. Does it matter that you might cast assumption at a glance of what I’m writing? No. Does it matter enough for me to become vulnerable and admit my feelings? No.

Why? Because any of those little bothers or moments of discomfort do not last forever. They are inherent to the moment at hand. Just as the bite of an honest few words, or the pain of a lost loved one, is impermanent in itself. It is how you react and carry yourself forward that determines how you feel from that point forward. Whether you want to grab that thorny branch of feelings, and pull it with you all your life – is your choice. But it doesn’t have to last forever, because – it doesn’t.

“On the basis of this misconception which ties together the hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home, property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life’s illusions and thinks in terms of ‘I and mine.”
Bhagavat Purana 5.5.8
http://hinduism.iskcon.com/concepts/105.htm